For The Love Of Your Dentist

I went to the dentist last week to get my teeth cleaned. Two things came to mind: I broke my promise to myself to floss every day. In the six months since my last visit I probably flossed twice. The first time was the day after the cleaning. And the second time came on the morning of my next appointment. I’m sure I really fooled the dental hygienist into believing I floss hard all the time. Needing a chisel to break off the caked-on coffee residue is just an abnormality.

The other thought harkened back to my youthful days of going to see my long-time dentist Dr. Matkin. He had a clinic on 9^th Avenue beside Stubbs Pharmacy. That was when all dentists had a spit sink. Basically it was a swirling toilet beside your head. You’d lean over after a couple of shots of Novocain to attempt to vacate the spittle that accumulated in your mouth. Since you had no sensation 90% of it would slobber onto your clipped-on dental bib. It was not very hygienic. Thank heavens they invented the suction device. It goes into your mouth, you put your lips around it and not only does it get rid of any excess fluid I’m sure it can also extract your tonsils if you have any.

I know there are a lot of people who hate going to the dentist. I can’t say I hated going but I had my share of cavities as a kid and was not a fan of the needle and some of the smells that came with drilling into your molar.

The worst thing I had happen to my teeth was an unfortunate high stick during a rec hockey game. It ended up killing a front tooth. I had to go in and get a root canal along with a cap. The root canal is not fun. There is the obligatory numbing that has to take place plus there is the dental dam that gets placed in your mouth. You’re in an awkward open-mouthed position for what seems like six hours while the dentist happily drills away asking, “So did you have a good weekend?”

It was shortly after that I decided to go “find myself” on a trip to Australia for six months, fake front tooth and all. There was a group of people we had met from a Youth Hostel. We were out partying when I decided to my dog impersonation. (Yes, there had been some drinking.) I decided it would be hilarious to bite down on the sleeve of an unsuspecting gal and continually tug at it much like a playful Golden Lab. Well, out popped my fake tooth. I hadn’t shaved for a few weeks so I looked a lot like a character from Deliverance. (Very hard to get picked up when you’re hitch-hiking) I wondered around toothless in Tasmania for a few weeks and finally found a dentist who agreed to temporarily glue my tooth back. It worked for the duration of my trip.

When I got back to Canada I had my dentist properly put my tooth back on. That was Dr. Rice who has been my guy now for about 40 years. I love Dr. Rice. Shortly after my visit I decided to take on the challenge of a corn on the cob eating contest. That’s just about as smart as pretending to be a dog and tugging on someone’s arm. Yup….out came the tooth. This time, however, I was back doing a radio show and I had to be on the air in the morning. With the big gap in the front I was lisping like Sylvester the Cat. I thought, I’ve got to get this fixed. I went to the phone book and looked up Dr. Rice. It was early-ish in the evening. “Hey Dr. Rice, it’s Mark Campbell. Guess what, the old tootheroo just popped out and I wondered if there’s any chance of getting it glued on before I go to work? (That, by the way is an exact quote. I actually used the term “tootheroo” thinking it would make the evening call a little easier to handle.

The response on the other end:

“Well Mark, this is Bob Rice the accountant. You probably want to call Bob Rice the dentist.”

I wanted to crawl into a very deep hole and stay there for about two years in the hopes that another tooth would grow back and the entire night would be forgotten.

Eventually, I got to the dentist, Dr. Rice and he had to do another root canal and put in another fake tooth. He tells me that in his nearly 40 years of dentistry it’s the biggest root canal he has ever made.

I’m honored.

On second thought. I actually do hate going to the dentist.

The Sporting Life of Esther Madziya

I had the great pleasure of working with Esther Madziya when we co-hosted the CJOC morning show a few years back. She is a hard-working, shoe loving, sports fanatic with a great sense of humor. While her job was focused on writing and presenting a news cast every half hour she never lost her passion for sports. When a PR job opened for the Lethbridge Hurricanes she knew she had to apply. Naturally, she got it. Then came a position with Hockey Canada. It was a no-brainer for her to apply for that job. And naturally, she got it. While I was very sad to see Esther leave Lethbridge, I was thrilled that she found what is her true calling. She took a few moments out of her hectic schedule to answer these questions:

You’re a sports fanatic. Where do you think that came from?

This is an easy question. For as long as I can remember, my dad, my sister and I would watch NFL on Sunday’s. We always cheered for the Pittsburgh Steelers (that’s where my love for them came from) and it just kind of snowballed from there. My family also played tennis and throw in all the other sports (hockey, golf, basketball etc), I guess it was just my destiny!

You’ve done both TV & radio in your career. What are the pros and cons of both for you?

Well in radio, only you (Mark) had to see how bad I looked at 4:00am haha, but to be honest, both are tremendous. Radio is great because there is that immediacy of the news and you have to get your point across in a short amount of time. The downside is you don’t have all the time you’d like to put all the information you can in a 30 second story or 3 minute newscast. I liked TV because there’s more time to be creative in your storytelling and you have time to put your stories together. The best part of both is the connection you have with your audience and they get to know a small part of you and your personality. Of course there is the lack of privacy when with family, grocery shopping etc., but that’s what you signed up for in the job. You will get recognized and it’s nice that people do and come and talk to you, but we’re not in the business to be recognized.

You worked in the Saskatoon market when the Blades were having a horrible season and you worked with the Hurricanes when they were going through their tough times. How difficult is that to keep things positive?

It’s not easy by any means. I think you still have to tell the story. If a team is struggling then you have to report on the facts which was the case in Saskatoon – the one year I was there they were 7-65 so it’s hard but you still have a job to do. I think the frustration comes when fans get personal in their attacks of the players or the staff. No one hates losing more than the players/coaches and staff but the players are kids and you have to remain positive for them because hockey is their life. I just always tried to be a positive influence in their lives whether it was a kind word or just a pat on the back so they know that you’re in their corner.

Top 5 favorite sports celebrity interviews you’ve ever done:

Oh man …

Mike Weir, Ferguson Jenkins, Wayne Gretzky, Bobby Orr, Russ Howard

Women in sports is fairly common today. When you started not so much. Did you find you had to work that much harder to be accepted and respected?

I definitely felt I had to prove myself, but my parents always instilled in me a good work ethic. If I could go home at night and feel good about the work day that I put in, then nothing else mattered. I found that working in Lethbridge after school, some of the people I was interviewing knew me a little bit already. I had good people along the way that gave me advice as well when it came to the business (Tony Deys was awesome to me before I decided to pursue a broadcasting career). After a practicum at Country 95 I landed a job with the station but felt I still needed to prove myself. Moving to Saskatoon was the biggest challenge. No one knew who this Alberta girl was and my beat was football (CIS and CJFL). I remember going to my first practice, nervous as anything, but remembering that I deserved to be there just like the other (male) reporters. I introduced myself to the coach and it went from there. You have to do your research and know what you’re talking about and have respect for the players and coaches you’re talking to. If you do that, it’s a two-way street. I was lucky enough to deal with great coaches and players in Saskatchewan, even when I came back to Lethbridge, so covering football, hockey, basketball, wrestling, curling and other events I feel very lucky and I have made friendships with many of those coaches and players and I’m still in contact with them to this day.

You now work for Hockey Canada. Describe what you do.

My official title is “Coordinator, Media Relations” so basically any interview requests with players and coaches at events (or on a day to day basis) is what I coordinate. We also write and edit news releases, assist with press conferences, game program and web content.

We may have a selection camp here in Calgary or off-site and if you’re the media contact then it’s my responsibility to make sure everyone gets the information they need. Also when we travel with teams we are the media contact for the team or for an entire event meaning dealing with accreditation for media, working the host committee on national and domestic championship events for all media needs. In a nutshell, provide day to day media, communications and public relations support for Hockey Canada, our National Teams and events or programs as assigned and attend national/international events.

Is this your dream job?

OMG, definitely a dream job! I feel lucky that covering sports and being in radio and television has given me some pretty amazing experiences, but Hockey Canada is a definite step up and doors to events and experiences I could never imagined. I do have to pinch myself some days because it still doesn’t feel real.

Just after you started with Hockey Canada, Canada ended up winning the World Hockey Championship. That must have been a nice start.

A fantastic start for sure. The tournament started while I was in Buffalo, NY at the IPC Sledge Hockey World Championships with our National Team. As the defending champions, we had our own gold medal that we were trying to win but we were definitely keeping an on the team as the tournament started. Getting back to Calgary and being in the office, all the staff would be gathered around the TV watching the game. It was pretty special for sure.

You’re a big music fan. Top 5 albums of all time.

Oh man, that’s tough and not a fair question at all!! Music depends on my mood because I listen to everything, but at this moment (and it would change tomorrow), I’d say … and in no particular order:

U2 – Joshua Tree

Michael Jackson – Thriller

Bruce Springsteen – Born in the USA

Garth Brooks – No Fences

Lauryn Hill – The miseducation of Lauryn Hill or something by Jay-Z

Top 5 concerts you’ve been to.

Again, tough and in no particular order:

U2 (Pop Mart Tour in Edmonton)

Janet Jackson (in September in Edmonton)

Tim McGraw & Faith Hill (Soul II Soul)

Bon Jovi (in Saskatoon)

The Police (in Edmonton and Sting’s sons band opened for him)

You’re a self-proclaimed shoe addict. Come clean. How many pairs to you currently have?

If anyone in my family is reading this, I’d rather not say!! I have toned it down, a bit, but not by much. Let’s just leave it at that!!

The Riders. Discuss.

Worst season of my life! It was frustrating and while you never want to see people lose their jobs, changes had to be made. Now with the hiring of Chris Jones, I’m definitely optimistic of next year. I mean, I’m not planning the parade by any means, but we’ll do better than 3 wins for sure!

(Editor’s note: Esther believes that she is engaged to former ‘Rider slotback Weston Dressler. I’m happy to report that the restraining order comes off next Tuesday.)

You take a walk along the banks of the Elbow River in Calgary and find a bottle. You rub it. Miraculously Doug Henning emerges from the bottle and grants you the ability to invite any 5 people over for supper, alive or dead. Those five are….(I know Doug Henning is amazing)

In no particular order – Terry Fox, Dr. Martin Luther King, my grandmother, Oprah, Jesus and my mom (it’s my party, can I have 6 people?!)

When you think of your time in Lethbridge what do you reflect on?

Lethbridge is amazing – it’s home and I miss it. While I wasn’t born and raised there, the city and community truly have shaped me into the person I am. I think of many people I’ve had the opportunity to get to know from my church as well as through work getting to tell their stories as a reporter. You can walk down the street and run into someone you know and people would give you the shirt off their back. Lethbridge has been very good to me and my family and I can’t say enough about it.

What is the single-most best day of your career so far?

Tough question, I’ve had some pretty amazing moments whether it’s been in news or sports. I don’t know if it’s happened yet, there’s still more to come in my career. For now, I will say working in Saskatoon and covering the 2010 World Junior Hockey Championships when Canada won Gold. Epic!

Is Hockey Canada where you want to be for the long haul or is there another job down the road that you hope to one day acquire?

It would have to be something out of this world to trump Hockey Canada, but I’m loving where I’m at and there’s no place I’d rather be.

Is there really a big difference between a community owned team and a privately owned team in the WHL or is the formula for a great franchise simply to just win?

If I knew the answer, I’d be doing something different! I think either way you need to win but to have the support of fans and the community to fill the seats is part of it. Good people whether it be private or community owned will surround themselves with people to help them succeed and then it’s up to the ones playing the game. I will say, I’m beyond ecstatic to see the Hurricanes winning. I’ve only made it home for one game so far (they beat the Tigers 7-0), so I wish for everyone a great rest of the season and a long playoff run.

Stanley Cup Winner?

One day I’ll look forward to saying the “Edmonton Oilers” but until then, it’s hard not to be impressed by teams like Chicago, Dallas, and Washington.

Will Roger Federer ever win Wimbledon again?

I’ll never count out Federer winning another grand slam. If he can stay healthy and as long as it’s him, Djokovic and Nadal (if he can stay healthy), I’ll say yes, but it has to happen within the next two years.

Robbie Burns, Lethbridge Twinning Society And Jesus Christ Superstar

It’s the birthday of Scottish poet Robbie Burns today. He is the man responsible for writing Auld Lang Syne. It’s famously sung during New Year’s celebrations because no one is ever sober enough nor cares to know what they’re singing.

I’ve had haggis. As long as it’s seasoned properly, I don’t mind it once a year. And by seasoned, I mean a full bottle of ketchup.

You know you’ve had too much to drink at a Robbie Burns celebration when you mistake your haggis for your tam.

I would hate to be a CNN reporter out in the field during a snow storm. The only reasonable question that can be asked is “What the #$!% am I doing here in the middle of a snow storm?”

I was cheering for another Seattle Seahawk Super Bowl appearance but since that’s not going to happen I think I’m going for Denver. It would be a nice way for Payton Manning to cap his Hall of Fame career. And it would finally stop Eli from reminding everyone that he has more rings than his brother.

It was fun to stop by the Lethbridge Twinning Society banquet on the weekend as Lethbridge officially welcomed Great Falls as our sister city. In attendance was Yuri & Lana Kadoshnikov of Great Falls. I showed up as Elvis and welcomed them to the city asking them to please leave their US money at the door. Lana was pleased that Elvis was still alive. I told her I had to hurry up and leave because I had to get to my job at the 7-11.

I’m looking forward to a repeat performance of The Starlight Lounge during the Lethbridge Jazz Festival in June. It’s another opportunity for me to get the words to “Glow Worm” right. So far I’m 0-3. Some songs just have that ability to help you forget. More on that later.

Jesus Christ Superstar is coming up in October directed by Fran Rude & Ken Rogers and put on by the Lethbridge Senior Citizen’s Organization. It’s been about 30 years since Ken & Fran first did the show. To update it, Judas will be the confused trans-gender apostle. Too edgy?

 

Cool Cars, Interesting People. Episode 4

This edition of Cool Cars, Interesting People involves a Mazda and a singer. The Mazda is a 2016 CX5 GT from Milestone Mazda. The singer is Tim Carter of The Chevelles. Both are slick, well dressed, and peppy. Both can sing. Tim has a great rock ‘n roll timbre, the Mazda sings metaphorically. I really enjoyed driving the CX5. It had a lot of giddy-up and handled really nice. A Mazda was the first brand new car that I ever bought after my 1964 Plymouth Fury. It had the rotary engine and it was a standard. (So if I ever got on to Amazing Race Canada I wouldn’t be hampered by an inability to drive a stick…just sayin.) Darryl Kroeker of Milestone Mazda nicely handles the introduction to our transportation in this episode. A note: I’ve been discovering that pretty much all brand new cars these days have push button starts. In this case I kept on pushing what I thought was the ignition only to realize that I kept turning the air conditioning on.

It was then on to Average Joes where Tim now works. I was pleased that he brought out his ukulele and we sang an old Beatles song on the way to Starbucks which I loved. It is my long-time hope that I become the 5^th Chevelle. I may or may not be a bit of Chevelle groupie. In a “Cool Cars, Interesting People” first, we had to pull over to allow a firetruck to go by while driving across Whoop Up Drive.

It is really easy to talk to Tim. I really enjoyed the conversation. And he holds no punches. He is honest about what music means to him, how important his family is and what a joy it is to be able to hit the stage virtually every weekend to play with his best friends. (16 years with the same line-up-way longer than most marriages last.) For the haters who poo-poo a musician in a cover band he will never apologize for what has been an extraordinary musical ride. And that ride is not going to end anytime soon.

The Somber Side Of “Being Here For A Good Time”

Earlier this week I taped an episode of Cool Cars, Interesting People with Tim Carter. Tim is a member of the Chevelles. I’ve known Tim for a long time and it’s easy to have a conversation with him. Throughout the course of the session we stared to discuss death. It’s not the most pleasant of topics but the reality is that we (and by ‘we’ I mean Tim & I) are getting to the age where we’re witnessing some of our iconic music icons pass away. Case in point, David Bowie and Lemmy” Kilmister who was one of Tim’s favorite guitarists from the band Motorhead. (When we got done taping I went home only to hear that Glenn Frey of the Eagles had passed.)

We somehow got around to how Tim’s dad said to him out of the blue one day that if he ever died, Tim had to play We’re Here For A Good Time at his funeral. Tim laughed it off. Odd choice for a funeral he thought. Sadly, Tim’s dad died unexpectedly. He was Tim’s best friend and despite what may have been an unusual request he felt obligated to honor his father’s last wish. So he did his own pared down and hauntingly beautiful version of the Trooper classic.

Cornerstone handled the funeral. Like everyone in attendance that day, Ralph Zenter of Cornerstone was deeply moved by Tim’s rendition. When Ralph’s wife Faith passed away unexpectedly last month, Ralph, still remembering the impact Tim had with that song asked him for an encore. Tim was honored. As it turns out our cameraman for Cool Cars, Interesting People, Chris Oates of Cogo Productions taped the entire funeral including the graveyard performance by Tim. I asked Chris for a copy of that song. As I watched, it was hard not to get choked up. The wind and the cloudy conditions just added to the poignancy of the moment. I sent the clip to Ra McGuire who is the lead singer of Trooper and the man who wrote the song. Here’s what he said: “Thanks so much for sharing this, it’s very moving. Please tell Tim I thought his version was heartfelt, appropriate and well done. It’s a good theme for a final reflection and I’ve often considered a more somber, churchy version of the song for the reprise we do at the end of our encore. Maybe this will light the fire for that.”

Here is that performance:

Malanka!!!

I did a lot of interviews over the years with members of the Troyanda Ukrainian Dance Troupe. What always impressed me was their pure love and passion for the art. Not only were they willing to talk about their proud culture but they were always willing to don one of their colorful costumes and perform one or two dances just to give a little taste of what it means to be a Ukrainian dancer. One of the most popular events of the year is the New Year’s celebration called Malanka. It happens this Saturday at the Lethbridge Senior Citizen’s Organization starting at 4:30 with cocktails. You can get your tickets at CASA. I had a chat with Patt Williams of Troyanda and she reminds us of the fun time ahead.

Talk a little about the history of the Troyanda Ukrainian Dancers and what a dedicated group they are.

We are in our 21st year and continue to perform over two dozen times per year! In addition to our New Year and end of year shows, we hold two shows for grade three students to enhance their studies of Ukraine. Add seniors’ homes, cultural and holiday events, parades and competitions…we’re a busy group! We’ve collaborated with the Galt Museum in cooking programs like perogies and cabbage rolls.

Believing it’s never too late to join in dance, we welcome newcomers from age 3 to timeless.

We are a not-for-profit and parent-volunteer club, with the exception of two highly skilled and dedicated instructors, Anastasia Sereda (club founding member) and Dean Mackedenski (from Calgary)

How would you describe Ukrainian dancing?

Passionate! Ukrainian dancing can be quick and lively or it can be slower and more about being graceful. We tell stories through the songs, the colours, the regions and the steps. Each region has different costumes with different designs while the dances have distinct steps.

Take us through every facet of the evening.

You are greeted by Absolute’s musicians. After settling in with a cocktail, buying some 50-50 tickets and bidding on silent auction items, you enjoy the performance by Troyanda’s dancers, culminating with the high energy finale, Hopak. After the performance, you enjoy a family-style Ukrainian dinner. More time to visit, be merry, spend money and prepare to dance!

Absolute will get your toes tapping to waltzes, polkas, butterfly, and some older jigs that will make you think you are at a Ukrainian wedding! Before you know it, the floor prepares for our Kolomeyka. That is our circle dance where folks dance in the middle of the circle and show off their moves! Very exciting! There’s more dancing, more eating…are you up for it?

What are some of the traditional Ukrainian dishes people will be enjoying?

Kutyia ( wheat, honey, poppyseed), pyroghy’s with the fixings, cabbage rolls, garlic sausage…and more.

What would you say is the highlight of the night?

All of it! It’s a full meal deal.

Is a Ukrainian New Year’s Resolution any different from anyone else?

Not sure. How many Ukrainians does it take to make a resolution?

Come to Malanka to find out.

Full disclosure: What’s your New Year’s Resolution?

You’ll have to come dance a polka with me to find out. 😉

The Psychology of Winning A Few Bucks

Anyone who knows me will know that I’ve bought Lottery tickets for a long time. I’ve organized many work lottery pools and regularly did Lotto-related radio bits in an effort to win the big one. I’ve been buying tickets since the Olympic Lottery in 1974. We paid $10 for that ticket. The jackpot was $1 million which, if you can believe, at the time it was the largest lottery payout in the world. One group of nine women shared the prize. The winning number by the way was 3093734 which was announced live on TV during a gala event. It was hugely successful and helped offset the cost of the Olympics in Montreal. That success spurned many more lotteries: The Western Express, Lotto 649, Lotto Max and of course scratchers. (If you keep all the residue from those scratchers they can make a nice hamster nest.) Like many Canadians I became a regular buyer of lottery tickets hoping to win that big one. The biggest payout I ever had was $100 on the old Provincial ticket which used to cost $5 and was played every Friday. Flash forward to last Saturday. I went to the Southside Safeway gas bar to fill up and remembered that I had both a 649 and a Lotto Max ticket. I took out my 649 ticket to be checked and said, “I sure hope I hear the ‘woo who’ from the ticket checker.” To my delight there was a ‘woo who’. I won $2. The gas manager behind the counter RandieLynn Lush joked “Do you want me to walk you out for security reasons?” Then my Lotto Max ticket was checked. Again I heard the ‘woo hoo’. Again I thought maybe a free play or $5. Unbelievably, my payout was $107.40 making it the most I have ever won on a lottery ticket in 41 years. I admit I got pretty excited and told RandieLynn, “O.K. now you better walk me out.” I thought if I got that pumped up from winning just over $100 I could very well be in a coma if I ever won the big one.

The thing about winning money is that you should just take it and be happy with it and not analyze anything. It could tear you apart. But, of course I had to delve deep into what could have been. As it turns out I actually got 5 out of 7 numbers. It makes you think, geez $107 isn’t much for getting all but 2 numbers!! One more correct and I would have won $5166.50. (I had a 25 instead of a 26.) If I got the 26 and the bonus number of 45 I would have won $364,958.70. And of course if I just had 2 more correct I would have won $50 million. And if my uncle had a…well you know the saying. If you don’t, google it.

Again, the trouble with winning a nice little payout is that you now think you can do it again. I no doubt will continue to buy tickets in my search for the big salami. And I’m sure I’m going to be very disappointed over the next 41 years until my next big ‘woo who’ moment. I’ll be 100 by then, the jackpot will probably be about $100 million and my big win will be in the neighborhood of $115.25. And I’ll probably spend it on another set of lottery tickets.

Woo who!!

The Bluebird Motel And The Power Ball

It’s funny how a random thought will unexpectedly resonate with people. Mostly as a joke I tweeted that if I won the Power Ball jackpot ($1.5 billion U.S.) I’d hide out for a week at the Bluebird Motel in Claresholm. It is true that I’ve always wanted to stay there and I’ve heard many positive reviews of the place. Would I have really done that? Full disclosure: More than likely I’d be on my way to a private island in The Caribbean. That’s not to say the Bluebird doesn’t offer its own unique brand of down home charm and ambience. To my surprise I had over 20 comments and nearly 90 likes on my Facebook page which is a lot for me. As one friend mentioned it’s a wonderful place to stay in the middle of a snowstorm. I even got a retweet from the Town of Claresholm. It’s obvious that the Bluebird has established a nice reputation so good on them.

The harsh reality is that I did not win the big one last night. My good pal April Anderson lives in California and she told her Facebook friends that she’d buy tickets for the first 10 people who asked for them. So I got in. (Comparing the numbers that won to the numbers that I had, I feel like I wasn’t playing the same game.) Anyhoo… the chances of me going to the Bluebird Motel have now actually increased. It would be a nice getaway for a hundred-aire like me. (Yes I have hundreds in my bank account. At least I did yesterday. I should probably check.)

The insane jackpot was apparently won by 3 separate tickets so each ticket will be getting about $500 million. They’ll have to decide whether to take the money in a lump sum or over 30 years. At my age I would have taken the lump sum. I’m waiting to find out if someone is going to sue someone in a scenario like this:

“I said I’d be in the pool if you bought tickets.”

“Oh no you didn’t.”

“Oh yes I did.”

“I’m calling my lawyer.”

“Bring it on.”

As a side note, here in Canada the 649 jackpot of $5 million was won by one ticket. When you compare the two, winning the Canadian 649 jackpot is like winning a scratcher in the U.S. However I honestly think I would have rather won $5 million than the Billion dollar Power Ball. I can’t imagine the headaches that are going to accompany the big winners. The $5 million would be enough to take the edge off. And remember if I ever win, you’ll hear this line at the press conference when a reporter asks how I feel:

“Well it’s nice to say that after buying lottery tickets since the 70s, I’m finally even.”

So, who’s in for this Friday’s $50 million Lotto Max?

His “Warship” The Mayor

If there was anything that was to go wrong on our third edition of Cool Cars & Interesting People it was this one with Mayor Chris Spearman. First off, because it began to snow and the roads got a little icy, Bobcat over at College Ford Mercury decided to switch vehicles on us from a 2016 Ford Mustang to a 2016 F150 Lariat truck. It would have been difficult to show the true power of a Mustang with the white stuff. That was fine. The truck is pretty amazing with its ability to park your trailer for you.

Next problem: Chris Oates our cameraman got a flat tire putting us behind schedule. And when you’re scheduling the Mayor for anything you want to keep on time. Fortunately, he had a longer window of opportunity to be with us on this day.

And then as we made it to the Penny Coffee House, one of the cameras was having an issue. Argh!!!!

A quick call to a techie and we got it rolling again.

All things considered, it went well. The Mayor was a great guest who was easy to talk to with a great sense of humor. I think I may have thrown him off a little with the sexiest mayor question.

I missed out on doing a couple of bits where I sang “Mayors eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy” but it was probably just as well. And I was going to pretend to shadow box while leaving the Mayor’s office. I was going to say, “Do you know what I’m doing? I’m fighting city hall.” Again, probably something that didn’t need to be in the package.

Thanks again to the Mayor and to Bobcat over at College Ford Mercury. And of course, thanks to the Penny downtown for keeping our seat warm even when we were late.

And without further ado….the Mayor on Cool Cars & Interesting People:

https://youtu.be/6GkNvLz5cTk

 

Dreamin’ Of The Big One

Everyone’s talking about the Powerball jackpot in the US that was worth $900 million last night. And it wasn’t won. So now Wednesday’s draw will be over a billion dollars. Again I harken back to when the Olympic Lottery in Canada came into play back in the 70s and the “big” jackpot was $1 million. To loosely quote Dudley Moore in Arthur, “That was back when $1 million was a lot of money.”

Today’s jackpots are staggering in both Canada and the US. Last night’s 649 was $7 million which was won by one ticket. (That would really take the edge off if I had won.) Friday’s Lotto Max was carried over so next week it will be $50 million. That pales in comparison to the Powerball jackpot. Apparently if you’re a Canadian and you win, they’ll tax you 30%. You’d still take home a billion Canadian.

While it’s fun to dream about the big win, a billion dollars in your bank account probably brings more headaches than it’s worth for the common mortal. I can’t imagine the can of worms that would get opened up. New relatives, new long-lost friends, schemers, investment “opportunities”…What would I do with my Saturn Ion? So much to worry about. I think I’d have to hire a person I totally trust to handle my money. (That’s you Doug Hodgins-financial planning guru who I’ve known for 40 years.) I’d pay him very well and make sure he gives away 90% of it. I’d make sure my family and good friends, (emphasis on good) are well taken care of and that I’ve got enough money to live out the rest of my life very comfortably. I’d have a warm spot to go to whenever I wanted, have a practical house and car, go to a few World Series games, a Super Bowl or two, the Stanley Cup finals, see the Acropolis and the Roman Colosseum and I’d have the ultimate man cave complete with a fine collection of wine, a big screen TV and an excellent stereo system so I could listen to my Barry Manilow CDs.

I’d bail out LMT, invest in Hatrix Theatre, make sure New West Theatre is alive for the foreseeable future (minimum 5 scripted shows a season) and I’d fund a number of non-profits that are always needing to find extra dollars—Alzheimer Society, Epilepsy, MS Society come to mind. (There’d be more thought and research on that.)

I think I’d have to have an amazing party in Vegas in the penthouse of the MGM Grand-Invite only. I might get Mike Tyson’s tiger to make an appearance just to give it that Hangover Feel.

Having enough money to not worry about any expenses would give me the chance to concentrate on finally writing my one-man show: “I’d Do Anything For A Laugh.” It’s a title that’s been in my head for a long time and as the title suggests it’s based on my life-long need to try to make people laugh. (Sometimes they do, sometimes it’s like being in a field of crickets.)

I originally came up with the idea when I was about 20. But I came to realize that I hadn’t really had many life experiences. I’m 60 now and I’ve had a few things happen since then. I’m hoping it would be funny yet poignant. And I’d probably have at least one fart joke. (Sorry, I can’t help myself.) Fran Rude, can you direct? There’d be a few songs in there as well.

With or without the billion dollars, I’m going to try to make some of this happen. I’m well on my way. I won a free play on Friday’s Lotto Max and another Free Play on last night’s 649. Woo Hoo!!!