Random Attempts At Christmas Humor

I’ve decked our halls with boughs of holly and now I’m itching all over. I did not think it through very well.

How many of you got “Awakened by the Force.” Or was it just the cat hacking up a fur ball?

At the mall where Santa is a big Star Wars fan:

Santa: “What’s your name?” Kid: “Billy.”

Santa: “What do you want for Christmas Billy?”

Billy: “A Play Station 4”

Santa: “That’s nice Billy. And Billy, I have something to tell you.”

Billy: “What’s that Santa?”

Santa: “Billy, I’m Your Father.”

Santa proceeds to laughs while Billy cries to his mother.

We will experience a Full Moon on Christmas Day for the first time since 1977 which is the year the first Star Wars debuted. This would be a good year to replace one of the wise men in your nativity scene with Obi-Wan Kenobi.

First full moon on Christmas Day since 1977. It won’t happen again until 2034. Beware of a Werewolf in Santa’s clothing.

Has this happened? You come home from shopping and your wife says “Did you get the Chewbacca for Billy?” And you say, “Chewbacca…I thought you said Chewing tobacco.” Wife gives a laser beam stare at you. You say, “What, I thought they made healthy chewing tobacco for kids.”

The gift for her: A nice bracelet with her own country of origin label.

Hot on the charts this Christmas: Donald Trump singing I’m Dreaming Of A White Christmas.

Talking history:

December 19, 1997 “Titanic,” the second highest-grossing movie of all-time, opened in American theaters. What a great movie. I saw it a number of times. I won’t tell you how it ends.

1972 Apollo 17 splashed down in the Pacific, ending the Apollo program of manned lunar landings. Of course one of the guys who was in that program is coming to town…the 2nd guy to ever walk on the moon Buzz Aldrin will be in Lethbridge in February. I understand he is a big proponent of sending a man to the moon. When he comes to town, I’m wearing my Marvin The Martian costume from Bugs Bunny.

Dec 20 1946 “It’s A Wonderful Life” had a preview showing for charity at New York City’s Globe Theatre, a day before its official premiere. Every time a Lethbridge Hurricane scores a goal, an angel gets its wings.

Dec. 20, 1879 Thomas Edison privately demonstrated his incandescent light at Menlo Park, N.J. He said, “This will really make your Christmas Tree look great.”